me: my day thus far:me: I AM A ROCK STAR
me: seriously, this guy was like the top ranking antitrust official in the country at one point
and i was like your report is awesome and i want to vomit on you

14 minutes
4:39 PM serenity: vomiting as a sign of affection...can't wait till that sweeps the nation...
4:40 PM me: no as a sign of a hangover
4:44 PM serenity: oh I thought that perhaps that is how lawyers express the fact that they hold another one of their kind in high regard.
me: hahahaha

18 minut
Then brad's away message said he lost a twix. and that made me sad so i changed mine to "i would give brad a twix", at which i started getting many messages about how i made other people want a twix.

: I want a twix jaimee

42 minutes
5:45 PM serenity: someone just walked up to me and gave me a kit kat bar. that never happens! not twix, but you may be capable of affecting the universe with your status message, jaimee.
5:46 PM bolt.serenity: I'm serious!
bolt.serenity: so be careful. be very, very careful.

5:48 PM me: im letting someone auction off on a list serv my karmic retribution for yelling at him last night

The post:
A friend of mine just informed me that her day has been an onslaught of karmic retribution for a series of bad decisions from last night, and she has offered this retribution as a sentimental gift to me. However, I don't get any pleasure from the suffering of other people, so the gift of her karma spiral does nothing for me.

Therefore, I offer to you, PT, a re-gifting of this karmic retribution to enjoy. All you need to do is claim it, and enjoy knowing that someone is getting what she deserved. First come first served. Take it away!



On saturday we went to the drive in to see the batman. Since it was in maryland, I of course wanted to combine the experience with getting maryland crabs, which i really didnt know anything about. So i did research and called the best closest place. I asked them if i picked them up what would i need to eat them. They asked where I was going and I said the drive in. They laughed in my face.

So i got all prepared with a hammer and a tarp etc etc and had keara call and place the order while on our way. When we got to this hole in the wall they were awesome. I mentioned that we needed some paper and bibs if they had any and she laughed and

said "oh my! Today we had these people--"
"I am these people!".

So of course i promised to take pictures for them because they believed it was impossible, even though i told them about brooks bbq and oneonta drive in. When we got there you couldnt take pictures, so im currently of the mindset to draw and stick figure representation and put little crab stickers on it and send it to them.


theres nothing wrong with golfing.......BY ITSELF. But golfing with republicans. Its like a gateway sport.



"im gonna describe these things as Burberrys"
"ok but thats the name of a high fashion brand"
"ok well im coopting it for the purpose of this conversation"
"nice cooption"
"well i have to learn about that word"
"i just made it up for the purpose of this conversation"
"nice burberrying"

So mick is on fire. We took him to camp bisco, and he hates the biscuits. But now hes in the best mood every. And we figured it out, its because he hates the biscuits. And he loves hating. So it was just perfect.



talking heads meditation of the day

Facts are simple and facts are straight
Facts are lazy and facts are late
Facts all come with points of view
Facts dont do what I want them to
Facts just twist the truth around
Facts are living turned inside out
Facts are getting the best of them
Facts are nothing on the face of things
Facts dont stain the furniture
Facts go out and slam the door
Facts are written all over your face
Facts continue to change their shape

barium is the watchword

yesterday I had a CT scan and had to drink barium, which i think poisoned me. I cam home and went to sleep and proceded to have the oddest dream ever.

over 5 years ago i had some dream where i made up a fictional Providence. There was a different waterfront, a different pawtucket, and a weird alternate green near the mausoleum with Corinthian columns and sculptures that do not exist. I haven't thought about this dream ever again.

Yesterday while napping i had another weird dream, in which the corner of clinton and stanton got an a train stop named "elder cleary" and piada began to enact a scheme for world domination. At some point in this dream, I drew a map of providence for someone so they could find a restaurant. Weirdest thing ever was, i drew a map of the *fictional* providence I had dreamed about 5 years prior.




Last year while watching the french open I got obsessed with one of those two women who have the same names outfit and bought the hoodie on the internet. It was great. Brown and pink and with thumbs. I love it. So this year watching wimbleton with my roomates, they got obsessed with darth federer's cardigan. She wanted to buy it for him and I said that he was evil but that she should look it up. Its like 450$. They should put it on their registry.