me: i own more clothes than any other person
notoriousfirst: dude i own a lot
its sickening
me: ok

me: i own more clothes than any other person

notoriousfirst: dude i own a lot
its sickening

me: ok. can we have a little support group chat. i own a LAWYER wardrobe and a TOUR wardrobe and then athletic gear and then a normal wardrobe. the bold ones are like entire other wardrobes normal people dont have

notoriousfirst: hustle work gear on tour


notoriousfirst: "headie suit seperates"
1 for 50
tour kids would look so puzzled but kind of be interested I bet

me: oh my god some dick would be wearing one of my blazers to new years as a zoot suit
notoriousfirst: lol


me: is it wrong to make my secretary scan my collection of apple day recipes and send them to my parents

Daphne: kind of, yes
why can't you scan your own

Daphne: of course, i can't get accuroute to work for me either
you can ask her to make you a pdf cover sheet

me: because i just moved offices and i dont know where anything is
and im like full time on 2 cases, trying to go to apple day, and both my office and apartment are in boxes

Daphne: no, your apartment is in couches


no otter

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So its 1:20 am and im writing a merger white paper and raging the hampton phish shows. I didnt know it was possible to simultaneously think "How did my life go so wrong?" and "How did my life go so right?".


from the nyt article on phish, speaking about coventry: “If there was ever a concert that represented a band smacking into a wall, that was it,” Phish’s drummer, Jon Fishman, said. “I think that was one of the great train wrecks in live concert history.”

In other weird phish reunion nostalgia:

I was going through my files for taxes and cleaning. I was shredding old credit card statements and found one:

Statement date 10/3/00

3 charges.

1. southwest tickets to sandiego for sam and I.
2. 2 Phish tickets
3. Howard Johnson airport hotel in las vegas.


me: why is this city so prone to watermain breaks
i dont get it

Joshua: lots of BS getting flushed


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Ive now convinced one of my coworkers to my pessimistic view. He just emailled me:

Let's go to South Africa and buy some gold. Just in case I need to relocate to mexico I can use it to buy a shack and live on. Also we are going to need fire arms.


someone else thinks the new tropicana is a travesty


most relevant paragraph ever -

The Springsteen ticket debacle came during a busy news week in the ticketing world: Live Nation experienced problems during its new ticketing system’s first major test — the anxiously anticipated Phish comeback tour. And earlier today the Wall Street Journal reported that a possible merger between Live Nation and Ticketmaster could become final as early as next week. Responding to that possibility, Springsteen told fans it would be “returning us to a near monopoly situation in music ticketing,” which he and his team oppose.


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They were just interviewing Troy Polamalu about his hair and asked if hes a different person with his hair down and he said "Once i was in the grocery store and my rubber band broke and I saw this woman and her baby and I just tackled them and left the store in handcuffs."


A model that i saw when i performed Greased Lightening at the Limelight when I was twelve. At least, I think this happened. I told Paul the story randomly and thanks to modern technology, drew it, took a photo, and then sent the photo to Serbia in the normal cadence of conversations.
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TAMPA, Fla. -- Troy Polamalu, when asked to put into his own words the existential meaning of the "Pittsburgh Legacy," came up with this:

"It is to carry on that blue-collar tradition. It has never been a legacy of success, though we have had success. It is a legacy of mentality. I can never see another team having the same relationship with a city that the Steelers have with Pittsburgh."


paul wanted to know if i posted this

Henchmen/Henchwoman Needed 6 Month Contract (GTA)

I've been trying to think of ways to spice up my life. I'm 35 years old, happily married with two kids and I have a good job in insurance. But somethings missing. I feel like I'm old before my time. I need to inject some excitement into my daily routine through my arm before its too late. I need a challenge, something to get the adrenaline pumping again. An addiction would be nice, but, in short, I need a nemesis. I'm willing to pay $350 up front and $350 after six months for you services as an arch enemy. Nothing crazy. Steal my parking space, knock my coffee over, trip me when Im running to catch the Go train and occasionaly whisper in my ear, "Ahha, we meet again". That kind of thing. Just keep me on my toes. Complacency will be the death of me. You need to have an evil streak and be blessed with innate guile and cunning. You should also be adept at inconsicuous pursuit. Evil laugh preferred. Send me a photo and a brief explanation why you would be a good nemesis.


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So after inauguration i came home and half of my law school was watching the parade on the news channels and fighting over which msnbc/cnn people they love/hate. They were getting really angry at at various announcers for reasons I couldnt grasp and all i could say was "that sounds like me watching joe buck announce an NFC game." I guess that makes Troy Aikman Fox News...


For work today I have to keep repeatedly writing about steel price increases due to the lifting of tariffs on imports. Except I keep typing "Steelers" instead of "steel". I am not at all joking. Thank god for find and replace.


this person should be my friend

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from daniel

yeah its about the making of Fitzcarraldo- I still haven't seen it. Herzog is a maniac, and brilliant, and hilarious. And Kinski is Kinski. I have a copy of My Best Fiend my brother gave me- maybe I'll watch it tonight. The article that turned me on to the dynamic is actually a New Yorker review of the autiobiographical/delusional episode cum narrative Kinski Uncut that you can find here:

a selection:

Episodes recorded inKinski Uncut fall into four categories: 1) sexual encounters with hundreds of women, beautiful and ugly, young and old, in a grotesque pornographic idiom that excludes sensual pleasure; 2) Céline-esque voyages of degradation and misery, often involving vomit, excrement, and delirium; 3) excoriations of incompetent directors, producers, writers, actors, journalists, and generally, all individuals who are not Kinski; 4) bouts of self-righteousness mixed with intense self-loathing

daphne and color take 9million

what color should i do my nails
Daphne: yellow
me: pink red or funky
haha i dont have yellow
Daphne: pink
barbie pink?
or like ligt pink
9:04 PM me: nah like a good pink
its called "windy city pretty"

9:05 PM Daphne: that's so cute!
uh oh
does this have to do with the PB catalog
because i'm identifying wtih this PB season more than ever before
me: hahah
9:06 PM Daphne: 2009 is year of yellow
me: thats the best hting ive ever heard
todays blog aware
yello started last year at cb2 my dear
Daphne: you don't have awards
you have im blog posts


Mike talking about growing up in Texas:  "Here's football.  It's great.  You're not."

He also managed to convince me that the mystery quasi bondage figurine that came with rudolph was legitimately "carmine the christmas cat burglar.  duh."


best thing i heard today.

I am obsessed with the title "football night in america". Daphne just told me that there has been a state sponsored "Hockey Night in Canada" for 35 years on the CBC. Then we had an international hug.


Daphne: i really hope you regain your sense of smell just for a day so you realize how crazy you seem

fitzcarraldo is the zeitgeist

my dad told me about how he spend the entire day moving some pipe that had caused the house to floodin its malfunction

"it was great i was all in the mud wading around with my hands in the mud. i was like one of those people under the boat in fitzcarraldo!"
"thats so awesome, i wish my life was like that. was some crazy german was yelling at you while you were lying there dead? oh wait, that is my life!"
"it was so bad, you know how when youre down there it really smells? oh wait you dont. good bye"

in other days news, we have really really sentitive speakerphones. sometimes ill answer mine and the music wil be on in the background. john called today and i was listening to phish and it was crowd noise and he said "wtf? do you just play a soundtrack of people cheering for you while you work all day?!" i am very into this idea.

and lastly i told liz about how sometimes i get in this mood where i manically lov everyone and then i cant go to bed because im too happy about humanity. she offerred to make me a happy jar to put by my bed at night that i can put my happy in to go to sleep.


How to confuse holiday party photographers

"ok, whos dating? who works together? who the hell are you?!"


too old to drink coffee and pull all nighters

me: wow
i cant see straight
e: why not?
12:01 AM me: because things are moving?
"correlation does not imply causation, asshole!!!!!"


since my away message was "less layoffs. more hugs."


my home without me


youre not cold if your team is winning

We went to the giants game. it was very wet. i screamed alot of things about generally hating DC. we kept asking this kid to take our picture and after the 5th one i realized he has no index finger and felt terrible.


10:30 PM me: is it a messenger bag
10:31 PM Daphne: no
me: cynthia giggled and said "the bear is a lie"
10:32 PM Daphne: bah
the bear is a cake!
10:33 PM me: yes and therefore by the transitive property.....
please find me a messenger laptop bag
10:34 PM brown or purple
or an awesome blue
Daphne: no
you're making my bear cake ironic
Daphne: and i don't like that
10:37 PM read the email i just sent you
10:39 PM Daphne: he's a cutie
he was great!
and all i saw were replays!


Polamalu is the zeitgeist: from dad.

the phone rang right after the Pittsburgh game ended and we were just sitting down to eat so i let it ring....afterwards i thought that it was you and had i answered you would have said:
"Troy Palamalu" and hung up...