dear jaimee,

please go. please just pack up your shit and leave. do you need me to help you pack? here, you stand on the street and i'll throw your stupid shit down to you. there's a bus leaving from chinatown at 1am tonight that will take straight to DC and out of my fucking life.

there is too much phish on my ipod. get a fucking life.



I would like to point out that a) this was all sarcasm and i was sitting right there and b) the last line made me pee my pants laughing. I sorta have this things for total non sequiter insults. Last year, after the Sayreville debacle, Yancy wrote me this email that was five pages of hateful vitriole. Which didnt really matter except the last line was something like "and by the way, i think JJ Cale is a terrible piece of crap." Brilliant!

For another example, i always wish that people would make better fun of my anosmia. The best thing anyones ever said to me was Tivon at brown, right before holiday break. We were all hanging out, and he was hugging everyone goodbye and he went to hug me saying "merry christ--oh wait you can smell." And stopped hugging me and walked out of the room to christmas break. Most brilliant ever.


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