I passed the bar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And now, as ive been waiting to say for many months with a clear conscience, i can proclaimed that i raged the bar exam period with more style than anyone ever thought possible. I will never be challenged. I made new friends, owned a coffee shop, and got a wii via the persian mafia. I somehow managed to get my hipster neighborhood to allow endless phish and flagrant health code violations. I rocked 600$ dinners, and the giants won the superbowl! I was hugged on the steet by strangers.
It all seems so weird that its over, and that it all actually happened. Looking back I truly appreciate how amazing everyone and everythign around me was during the entire experience.
Firstly to cocoa bar, for the many reasons already detailed here. Especially to paul, for almost getting me preemptively disbarred on the side of a pennsylvania highway in an m night shamalan-esque adventure, making sweet love to my GPS, and then going bowling on 50cent draft night in pittsburgh.
To all my friends i bothered relentlessly, and i am fairly tenacious. Especially those who took the bar before me, for whom i did nothing, and even to matt, who was like my bar exam kryptonite.
to mike for saying - "you cant eat a scanner", ordering at strip house, and developing a love for whores that paralells spitzers.
to liz for talkign about her small tattoo for four hours and then coming back with a quarter of her body covered with a dragon, for loving piada and hating cocoa, for getting into an actual screaming fight about moving the blocks in zelda and then banning paul from playing.
to tess, yancy, jp and amy, who did not even blink when i requested they schedule time for me to cling to them from 2-4 pm on sunday.
to "acceptable in the 80's"
to matt, for making me cry every 15 minutes and then looking up girls on myspace in bikinis for three hours.
to kathy for actually never ever doing something crazy, but looking so cute in sephora makeup.
To bill and reesa, for the two foot tall red pepper grinder and isabel for climing on polaris
to polaris, for doing the dishes.
To my parents, who stayed away for 6 weeks, and then let me say "the bar is going to be mean to me" in a mr. bill voice for two hours. To my dad for crying on my voicemail when i didnt answer the phone, and my mom for joining the club and breaking a glass at cocoa.
to alita who introduced me to mac photo booth, walked in bitter cold to dumplings, and didnt blink when i watched the giants games lying on the floor clutching a pillow.
To my bar review class. To Mr. slappy for actually being in a porno. To jacqueline for trading a persian mafia wii for future assasination obligations. To that guy in front of me for his head being humorously large.
To my nemesis for his persistant social awkwardness, the fluffy head, the guy who did heroin in the bathroom for two steely dan albums, and the ex warhol star who actually thought my life was more interesting.
To the lady who had a panic attack during the bar and was taking out of the javit center like she was on acid at nye 97, for not being me.
And to the NY Giants. Believe!